Today your goal is to try and expel some of the toxins that are building up and gradually poinsoning your body. Only consume cleansing food and drink. By tonight, your internal organs will have begun to purge all the drugs, preservatives, additives, and excess bile that you've been lugging around for years.
What to eat: Start off with a yummy breakfast of lemon juice in warm water. Drink mineral water throughout the day. For lunch, a treat: an apple to keep the doctor away washed down with camomile tea. For dinner, a nice clear soup of hot water, flavored with some fennel. And before going to bed, a cup of peppermint tea.
I figured this day would be perfect considering I was soooo tired yesterday the only energy I had was to order a pizza online (no Gummie Bears) and drive to McDonald's even though in all honest, I was out looking for boots. I did however get in my fruit and vegetables in yesterday. I had pineapple, onions, and black olives on my pizza and fries from McDonald's, oh yeah, and there was a slice of tomato on my chicken (healthy) sandwich. But I still figured it would be good to cleanse my bowel mainly because I enjoy pooping.
The morning was easy. For breakfast I was going to put store bought lemon juice in my water. I already like it luke- warm, but I had no lemon juice. So I just drank water. However, an hour later I was hungry.
On my way to work, I stopped and got the apple. I knew I needed my energy to put up with these kids. That was the best apple I have ever had. I devoured that thing. I knew I was hungry because when I walked through the candy aisle a sighed "candy" out loud, making the stocking man look at me like a was a loon. The apple luckily gave me enough energy to go to the mall too look for boots. About 8 minutes in I lost all desire to shop so I went to Kohl's. When I was done at Kohl's (no boots), I drove around for a bit then a miracle happened. No a food truck containing chicken fingers, tacos, cheese fries, White Castle, pretzels with cheese, nachos, green beans, cake, cupcakes, cookies, hamburgers, gyros, that turkey sandwich I had from Kaldi's the other day, oh or those Eggs Benedict from First Watch did not spill over, but instead I heard a sound. As always, I panicked thinking it was a man in my car, but there wasn't. It was a box of Girl Scout cookies moving around. I knew I shouldn't have one. I was doing so well on me detox. I was about to fight the urge until 2 minutes later when I ate 3.
At work I began to feel light headed and when my arm almost fell off moving a small wooden chair, I decided I was done detoxing. I headed to my parents house because I did not have the energy to head all the way back to my place, plus I wanted to hit the shoe store by their house for boots. They had boots kind of like what I wanted, but I was too weak to buy. I went to their house, where I tried to eat some cheese, but my father stole it from me. Did he realize how much energy it took to open that bag? But luckily, he bought me dinner and now I have some energy in time to go to bed.
Moral of story: Detoxing Sucks!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment