Which letter should I send to the paper

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Day 130 and Another Day


I know most of you probably panicked when I didn’t blog yesterday.  You were probably thinking that dumbass has gone and quit again.  Have no fear, I needed a day. 

 

So as a bonus, I’ll do what I thought was todays (oops, opened to the wrong page this morning) AND yesterdays, mainly because today’s task seems impossible for me.  Day 131: Today Hack Into a Computer Network.  Really?  Hack into a computer network?  They didn’t even give directions.  How the hell am I supposed to hack into a computer network?  I can barely turn a computer on.  Ask my boss, she’ll tell you.  Do you know how many times she’s had to teach me how to use Microsoft Outlook?  Or what about all the times someone had to show me how to fax?  That’s similar to a computer.  I mean, she stopped giving me computer related assignments and now just has me file, and since I suck at filing, I think that’s a blatant f you when it comes to computers.  I did log onto a website for retaining walls and tried to hack into that, but I didn’t know where to begin. 

 

Yesterday Day 130 I was to write a letter to the newspaper to gain a high position.  Hopefully this will lead me to becoming a mayor or something big.  I have always wanted to be a senator.  Dwight Eisenhower started his political career complaining about how pricy corncobs were. So what can I write to make me gain this high position?  It has to be something that I truly believe in and I know exactly the right thing.

 

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

Hello, I am a concerned citizen who is writing about the traffic in St. Louis, especially on Manchester Road.  I have noticed that in areas marked 40 miles per hour, people are only doing 30 miles per hour.  This is a pretty common occurrence.  As someone who abides by the actual speed limit, I find this Ludacris.  If I were to do 50 miles per hour, I would receive a ticket because I am endangering the lives of the other cars around me.  Who’s to say that the people doing 10 under are not doing the same?  I feel that they risk our lives more because people want to do the actual speed limit.  We have places to go and being stuck behind cars not doing the speed limit might make us panic and think we’re going to be late and therefor ride on their bumpers, causing road rage and other horrible traffic problems.  I feel if you’re going to ticket for 10 over, then you should ticket for 10 under.  Do the speed limit people.

 

Or I could send this…

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

We have a serious problem on our hands.  The wonderful city of St. Louis is going downhill and I blame these people.  I blame the meter maids.  They have no hearts and no lenience.  I have heard and read so many atrotricous stories of how meter maids have been treating people.  I recently received a ticket for not lawfully being at curb.  Really!  That’s dumb.  I also heard of a situation where a woman was walking to her car and the meter maid was standing by her car.  The young girl ran and said she was there.  The meter maid snarled at her and handed her a ticket.  There are also many comments on the internet about how unfair our parking system is.  It’s not like we’re Chicago or New York, we need the visitors especially since you’re likely to be killed walking down the streets here.  If you want to attract more visitors and get our revenue back up, tell the meter maids to lighten up.  By them a freaking beer.  Because as long as there is crime and meter maids, we’re not going to have tourist.  Thank you.

 

 

I think I’m going to start a poll to decide which one to send.  Oh and Sheryl, since I didn’t hack into your husband’s business website I’ll need you to proof the winner/winners.  Thanks!

No comments:

Post a Comment