Day 131: Defy Heirarchy

I did.  My other boss Leslie, gave me the most confused look when I stared her straight in the eye and said, "No.  I am not playing a game callled Smart."

For those curious people.  I gave in and played.  But I did make a left turn when I did not have the right of way.

Day 130 and Another Day

I know most of you probably panicked when I didn’t blog yesterday.  You were probably thinking that dumbass has gone and quit again.  Have no fear, I needed a day. 

 

So as a bonus, I’ll do what I thought was todays (oops, opened to the wrong page this morning) AND yesterdays, mainly because today’s task seems impossible for me.  Day 131: Today Hack Into a Computer Network.  Really?  Hack into a computer network?  They didn’t even give directions.  How the hell am I supposed to hack into a computer network?  I can barely turn a computer on.  Ask my boss, she’ll tell you.  Do you know how many times she’s had to teach me how to use Microsoft Outlook?  Or what about all the times someone had to show me how to fax?  That’s similar to a computer.  I mean, she stopped giving me computer related assignments and now just has me file, and since I suck at filing, I think that’s a blatant f you when it comes to computers.  I did log onto a website for retaining walls and tried to hack into that, but I didn’t know where to begin. 

 

Yesterday Day 130 I was to write a letter to the newspaper to gain a high position.  Hopefully this will lead me to becoming a mayor or something big.  I have always wanted to be a senator.  Dwight Eisenhower started his political career complaining about how pricy corncobs were. So what can I write to make me gain this high position?  It has to be something that I truly believe in and I know exactly the right thing.

 

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

Hello, I am a concerned citizen who is writing about the traffic in St. Louis, especially on Manchester Road.  I have noticed that in areas marked 40 miles per hour, people are only doing 30 miles per hour.  This is a pretty common occurrence.  As someone who abides by the actual speed limit, I find this Ludacris.  If I were to do 50 miles per hour, I would receive a ticket because I am endangering the lives of the other cars around me.  Who’s to say that the people doing 10 under are not doing the same?  I feel that they risk our lives more because people want to do the actual speed limit.  We have places to go and being stuck behind cars not doing the speed limit might make us panic and think we’re going to be late and therefor ride on their bumpers, causing road rage and other horrible traffic problems.  I feel if you’re going to ticket for 10 over, then you should ticket for 10 under.  Do the speed limit people.

 

Or I could send this…

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

We have a serious problem on our hands.  The wonderful city of St. Louis is going downhill and I blame these people.  I blame the meter maids.  They have no hearts and no lenience.  I have heard and read so many atrotricous stories of how meter maids have been treating people.  I recently received a ticket for not lawfully being at curb.  Really!  That’s dumb.  I also heard of a situation where a woman was walking to her car and the meter maid was standing by her car.  The young girl ran and said she was there.  The meter maid snarled at her and handed her a ticket.  There are also many comments on the internet about how unfair our parking system is.  It’s not like we’re Chicago or New York, we need the visitors especially since you’re likely to be killed walking down the streets here.  If you want to attract more visitors and get our revenue back up, tell the meter maids to lighten up.  By them a freaking beer.  Because as long as there is crime and meter maids, we’re not going to have tourist.  Thank you.

 

 

I think I’m going to start a poll to decide which one to send.  Oh and Sheryl, since I didn’t hack into your husband’s business website I’ll need you to proof the winner/winners.  Thanks!

Day 129: Count Your Blessings

"In the great hubbub of life, we often forget to pause and consider how lucky we are.  Today assess this scientifically."

Day 128: Office Gossip Day. Blow This Up and Leave It On Your Office Copier

 

 

Done and done!  We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Day 127: Try A New Fruit Today

Day 126: Today Exercise Your Full Rights as a Consumer

Apparently I am legally entitled to buy a lot of prepackaged material by the unit.  I can buy one beer out of a six pack or two cookies our of a packet of 20.  What about five pistachios, a dollop of face cream, or one sock, and I am to experiment with a shopkeepers' knowledge of the law.  Easy peasy. 

Looks like someone is unaware of the law.


Don't worry, I acutally know her... she asked if my task for the day was to be a moron.

Day 120: Don't Spend Any Money Day

So I totally did not realize I skipped day 120.  This did work out in my favor since we're supposed to be tracking everything we buy for three days for my finance class. I want everyone in the class to think I'm fiscally responsible.  It's all about first impressions and who cares if it's a lie.  I know I am fat from being fiscally responsible, just ask discover, mastercard,  and visa (I'm to good for american express, according to them).  So I figured this task would be effortless.... I was wrong.  I open my email. 30% off at papa john's!  My half was cheese. My dad had beef and onion.  At least it was midday so I didn't fail too bad.  But then class got out a little late and somehow my car, who might actually be a relative of the knight rider car, drove itself, and I swear the car literally steered itself I had no control, into the mcdonald's drive thru.  I spent a total of $21.34 today. Maybe I just need a no eating crap day.

Day 125: For Once, Take Your Horoscope Seriously. To Help, We've Had This One Designed Scientifically, By the World's Leading Expert. Follow It To the Letter

I am a Leo.  I woke up this morning (still at my parents) and saw my dad sitting at his desk.  I proudly announced, mainly because us Leo’s are very proud people, we are lions after all, that today I am to be known as Frank.  For some reason my dad did not seem fazed by this.  I went to the bathroom and thought while doing number 1 (I know you have dirty minds and if I just said thinking on toilet you all would’ve thought of something else) that my father, too, is a leo.  I was happy to tell him that he too would be referred to as Frank.  This fazed him.  He gave me a look like I had just grown a nipple on the tip of my nose. 

 

But when I came back from work, where people had not a single thought about calling me Frank, I greeted him with a “hey, Frank.” And he responded back with, “hey, Frank.”  The only person to really question was Jean when I told her that fellow Leo Sheryl and I were to be referred to ask Frank today.  She was flipping out on the emails.  “What??????????????????” I think her ? mark button might be broken.

Side Story

I had my Capricorn friend follow her horoscope.  She said her boss just did it back to her. 

Day 124: Buy a Parrot and Train it to Say Some Unpalatable Truth That You Cannot Voice Yourself in Society

Day 123: Today Learn An Emergency First Aid Procedure

Are you feeling pain in your lower abdomen?  How about nausea?  Have any of that?  If so, and you also can't eat (not for Biggest Loser competitions or the cherry tomato diet) and are vomiting, then you've come to the right place.  After working at the chiropractic school for a little over 5 years, I feel that makes me 100% qualified to preform medical procedures.  On this day, I learned how to remove an appendicitis.  I tried to practice on Breck while I was visiting her this weekend, but she was not in the mood or not feeling those symptons, one or the other.  But she did allow me to practice on her dog.  She even gave me a butter knife.  But the blade was too sharp, so I just ended up taking out her fiance/ common law husband's tonsils instead.

Day 121 and Day 122: No TV Weekend

I actually did this one weekend before my intunement.  I figured since I was going down to Springfield to go shopping with Jenn, it was the perfect time not to watch TV.  It worked.  And luckily we went into shops that did not have any videos showing.

I'm Back!!!

I have taken a few months off, to get more intuned with myself.  What I discovered is... not much.