Day 1: Warm Up

Task one is hard. I have a choice to do one of 20 things. Some are easy to eliminate, such as perform a strip tease in private. I do that every time I'm drunk. Some are not. I was going to set all my clocks to exactly the right time. This would be perfect since one of my clocks is 40 minutes off and another 54 minutes off, but then I remember, I will not be home for two days. I can decide which one of my toes is the prettiest. I even take off my shoes to look. They're all pretty ugly, so moving on. I can give a pet name to my genitalia. But my stuffed animals are named Koala, Panda, Pig and yes, they are a koala, panda, and a pig. I did think of one name but it kind of implies it's not clean down there, which is totally false. A one minute hunger strike I can easily do at the high school. I mean, it's not fair for me to be eating while I'm confiscating the kids food. Then there is also leave work 5 minutes early. I already planned on doing that. I guess I'll tell someone my middle name. Elisabeth. Done.

Tomorrow, I am supposed to gaze into everyone's eyes as if I think they may be the one. This will be interesting since I'll be in St. Joe, MO: the old people and farmer capital of Missouri.