Day 141: Today Build a Nest and See if a Bird Comes...

Building a nest takes forever!!!! I will post on this if I ever finish!

Day 140: Jam the Line

So a few days ago J I was supposed to jam the line of the Ku Klux Klan.  I realized tonight that I always stop blogging when I get to a task that I don’t want to do.  I don’t want to do this.  It’s scary and stupid.  What if they find me and try to kill me?  My parents are Catholic afterall.

Day 139: Bleed

So I was supposed to bleed in the book a week ago.  I have been hoping to bleed on my own because the whole thought of doing danger to myself makes me ill.  I am too pretty to cause actual harm to me.  I did ask my boss to stab me and she said yes, but has yet to deliver.  James whipped out a pocket knife the other day and I asked him to stab me.  He just looked at me like I was nuts.  I thought he would’ve jumped at the chance, but he did not.  So I asked him to cut the tumor off my leg.  He informed me it was an ingrown hair and he was not using his knife on my nonsense.  If I bleed, you will see it.

 

Next day (was in class when I wrote this, had to actually pretend to do something):  of course I bleed, a lot, when I can’t find the book. 

Day 138: Today Learn a New Know

Just in case anyone wants to know what nightmares other cheeses cause

Day 137: Does Cheese Really Give You Nightmares?

Day 137

Today's task is an overnight task.  Please do not be alarmed that this is the only post today.

Day 136: Invent a New Color

Today, dream up a new color of your own, and contact your lawyers.

I did.  This is what they sent back:

US PATENT

 

This patent is hereby issued to Jennifer Rohrer on this day, fourth of September in the year two-thousand and twelve for her ingenious creation of “Razzle Dazzle Super Frazzle Green.”  The United States of America and the entire scientific community appreciates the contribution of this creation to the lexicon of knowledge..[1]

---

[1] This document in no way imparts any rights, responsibilities or privileges to the above individual or the United States Government and is intended for entertainment purposes only.

 

Don't worry, I did inform my "lawyer" that this is not a proper patent.

Day 135: Continued

I went to my parents house to tell them I love them.  I brought them a cake and a balloon and each a bag of peanut M&M's, cause I always eat their peanut M&M's.

Just Realized, This Is Day 135: Today Make Sure Your Parents Know You Love Them

I called my parents today to tell them I loved them.  They never called me back.  I'll bring them a cake tomorrow.  And besides, I saw those bums yesterday.

Day 133: Subtext Day.

Today read between the lines as people talk to you.

A few book examples (because I know you all love the book examples)...

Hi!
Shit!

How are?
Who are you?

I'm very well thanks, very well indeed.
Ask me how my career's going.

Fine, yeah, they made me account director actually.
Yes yes yes! I'm better than you.

Here's my number
Here's the number of a dry cleaner in New Jersey.

See you soon!
Drop dead.


So... I learned when my dad says, "Oh, I'm so glad you stopped by."  What he really means is "Didn't we just get rid of you?"

My mom saying, "Sure you can work on your bed in our basement," is actually "You're keeping me up sawing when you have a freakin' place of your own.  Go home."

They must think on the same wavelength cause when Dad says, "make this your last cut." Meaning, "I'm sick of holding this stupid piece of wood.  Why did you not invest in proper clamps.  My wife is trying to sleep.  I'll pretend to be considerate."

Other things I read were...

Sure you can have a Magnum Bar
Aren't you in a fat bet cause that's going straight to your ass.

I'm ready to come home
I'm ready to come home, but please don't move into my basement.

Mark doesn't have any pallets.
Why does she keep asking ME where to get stuff.  Doesn't she have a lot of free time on her hands.  Afterall, she has time for a blog (I read that through a text message).

You're like a sister to me so, I'm going to interrogate whoever you're dating.
You are really good at dating idiots or you have an excellent picker.

And when Courtney says "you're smelly and stupid."  She means, "take a bath and you're stupid." No subtext with that one!

Day 132: Continued

Day 132: Lucky Number Day

Today I learned my lucky number is 12.  Good to know!  So I decided to play tonight's powerball and use multiples of 12 for my numbers.  Oh yeah, and 01 and 02 because side by side they are 12!

I cannot wait to be 80 million dollars richer.  I can maybe buy that bed, or even pay student loans!  No, I think I'll buy my bed.