Day 150

Yeah right.  Do you know how long it takes to get my hair done after it's wet.  Exactly.  The only time I spent in water today was.... in the shower.... in a shower cap.

Day 149: Today Help Resolve an Intractable Global Geopolitical Crisis!

Some bright spark out there must be able to come up with an answer to the world's various problems.  Could it be you?  Put your mind to it for a couple of minutes.  Redraw maps using colored crayons and explain your plan in no more than 80 words.  Send to Secretary General.

Day 148: Leave a Note on Someone's Car Windshield

I had the perfect victim for this.  The tech guy at work's car seems to constantly get hit by the students at work.  I wanted him to be my victim.  However, he was sick, then I forgot the note.  But I think it worked out perfectly because today was the first day of school.  So this is what someone left on his car...

Tomorrow I think I'll leave this...

I love being back at work.

Happy New Year: Change Someone's Mind Today

Considering I spent the entire weekend trying to convince my friends that you can use the analogy of

                                               vagina:baby::a can of peas:a can of corn

For instance, you have a vagina (can of peas) and everytime you have sex it stretches (gets dents in it).  When you have a baby (can of corn... imagine trying to stick a can of corn through a can of peas), you get a mushy vagina.  It took 2 days to convince my friends of this!!!


Also, Erin met 2011 Jenn on New Years.  So she's probably changed her mind about me.



Day 146: Famous Last Words: Prepare Yours Ahead of Time

I want to leave this world with something profound.  Something like "Don't be afraid to do something stupid, you grow from the embarassment."  But this is how I actually see my death:

I am laying nestled in Michelle's arms and she softly cries over me.  Her sobs are slow as she is trying to hide them.  She wants to be strong, but it is just too hard.  I feel the warmth coming from her and remember when I felt warmth.  I slowly lift my weak head and stare into her blue (?) eyes.  I muster the breath and say, "I raged, bro."

Day 145: Start An Urban Legend And See How Far It Goes

New medical condition:  spastic vagina

Treatment:  Have someone rub feathers on your vagina while you sleep

Now I just wait for it to explode!

Day 142: Senseless Day- Taste

Totally noticed I skipped this day. Oops.

So a day without using the sense of taste.  I thought it would be easy since I'm supposed to be sleeping in a car to St. Joe right now, but that got cancelled last minute.  I decided to eat minimal today (hard for a hungry girl).  So I had a bowl full of homemade pseudo rice krispie treats (when reading a recipe read the whole recipe.  Someone forgot the marshmallows) and a cheeseburger from Wendy's.  I tasted them but I'm pretending not to.  Now off to drink Rumchatta with Erin!